Donald Trump, the man who sentenced well over 200,000 Americans to death when he purposefully downplayed the severity of COVID-19 and refused to take coordinated action, appears to have now contracted the disease himself.
Having read more than my fair share of Shakespeare, I’d always thought that this incredibly surreal chapter in American history would end with Donald Trump being stabbed to death inside the White House by a member of his own family. Now, though, I’m thinking that all of this, of course, has to end with Donald Trump on a ventilator, without his makeup, making a deathbed confession on live television. [I’m picturing it playing out like the scene in Return of the Jedi, where we see the sick, pale and bloated Darth Vader without his mask for the first time.] The only thing more appropriate would be if a section of his shitty fake wall collapsed on him during a rally.
I should mention that there are some who don’t believe that Donald Trump actually has the disease. I’ve heard it suggested that Trump, who has consistently lied about his health through his presidency, could just be claiming to have contracted COVID-19 in order to cancel the coming debates, get a sympathy boost in the polls, and perhaps make the case that the election — which is now just 32 days away — should be postponed. Personally, I think he does have it, but I suppose anything is possible in this post-reality world which we now inhabit. [Here’s a thought. What if he doesn’t have the disease, but just saw this as being a believable story line that would allow him to step down as president prior to an election which he knows he’ll lose, and receive a pardon from Pence?]
Here, as long as we’re on the subject, is Donald Trump, this past Tuesday night, mocking Joe Biden for wearing a mask. [Let’s all keep our fingers crossed that he didn’t give the disease to Biden during the debate.]
Here's Trump — who just announced he and Melania are under quarantine for possible COVID infection — mocking Joe Biden at Tuesday's debate for wearing a mask pic.twitter.com/Q9cFtqezwc
— Robert Maguire (@RobertMaguire_) October 2, 2020
One thing we can be sure of, if Trump survives this, he will be even more of an insufferable prick, going on and on about how COVID-19 isn’t so bad, how manly he was in facing it courageously, etc.
As for how Trump got the disease, we’ve heard over the past several hours that both RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel and Trump senior advisor Hope Hicks had tested positive for the disease earlier in the week. It should be noted that Donald Trump, in spite of knowing that he’d been exposed, continued holding fundraisers during which he refused to wear a mask. And, no, for those of you who might be wondering, Donald Trump’s campaign did not let anyone on the Biden team know about the President’s exposure prior to their meeting on the debate stage. Not only did Donald Trump not warn Joe Biden of his exposure, but, as you saw in the video above, the President actually mocked his opponent for wearing a mask. [The Cleveland Clinic, where the debate took place, has a requirement that everyone must wear a mask. The Trump family and their staff refused to comply.]
The saddest thing about all of this, of course, is that it made everyone forget about the audio that just came out of our First Lady, Melania Trump, saying, “Who gives a fuck about Christmas?”
"Who gives a fuck about Christmas?" Remember when we were told that Obama had waged a #waronchristmas because he had the audacity to say "happy holidays"? https://t.co/VIEg6GQcR4
— Mark Maynard (@MarkAMaynard) October 2, 2020
